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Apr 14

Giving thanks to all the ladies dating or married to martial artist.

This blog is dedicated to my wife Lisa. One might ask the following, a martial art blog about his wife? Well let me explain, this is my way of publically saying thank you to a woman who has supported my martial art lifestyle since the day our relationship got more serious; I can remember the day I confessed through casual conversation to her that I was a martial artist. The conversation went something like this, there is something you should know about me, my comment was followed a perturbed/worried look on her face as if I was about to confess to her that I was a serial killer or had some incurable venereal disease. After a brief pause and once I knew I had her attention, I uttered the following words: I am a martial arts practitioner, as if this would soften the blow of the fact that I just don’t dabble in it but that I am truly a martial arts fanatic. Her response was, I know, you mentioned it; me mentioning it was my way of testing the waters with her. I then said ok, cool, but didn’t give her the details of my condition.

How does this trait differ than any normal hobby of a suitable male prospect? Well, for starters, I own nearly 100 weapons (excluding firearms), and am drawn to weapons of all sorts and sizes and I cannot stop collecting. Whether its swords, knives, or bludgeoning instruments, I love them and can’t get enough of them. Also, when we go shopping together, the clothing racks appear to me as modified mook jongs, for which I can throw a few angled empty hand strikes at, most men don’t do this when they shop with the main squeeze. I also prefer to buy all things in black; black shirts, shoes, pants, shorts, tanks, etc… Additionally, I cannot leave the house without at least one tactical pocket folder on my side, if I do I feel naked and have even turned around once leaving the house to grab one. When we dine out I cannot sit with my back towards the door, I need to see who is walking in and out and scope out the other patrons to see if they pose a threat to my kids, my lady, me and or the food I ordered. When I am greeted with a hug by friends or family members my mind briefly computes this humanly sign of affection as a clinch and I immediately and mentally begin to think about a counter and escape. When someone extends their hand for a shake in greeting, I fight the urge to initiate a thumb lock then transition to an arm bar. When we watch an action movie or drama that may have a fight scene or show someone being attacked, I have a bad habit of pausing and or rewinding and examining the situation and then determine my own approach for escape and or survival, I then share my revelation of my awesome solution to my wife. When we are on vacation, I have a tendency to look up local area Dojo’s just out of curiosity, and then ponder briefly how I could plan a visit between all the other stuff we have planned, of course I don’t share this plan with her I just think it.

I have more gi’s in my closet than I will ever need and a large collection of martial art books that I simply purchased because they are books related to martial arts, it is so bad that I have even at one time bought the same book three times because I forgot I already owned it and read it. So this is why when I knew this was the gal that I could spend the rest of my life with that I was a bit worried when I confessed to her that I was a martial artist. She has been for the most part extremely patient and understanding of my passion. You see martial art is not just a hobby to me; it has become a very part of my DNA, a piece of fabric of the man I have become. I think about it every day even when I am not physically practicing it. Through its practice, I have learned, respect, honesty, honor and how to put off immediate gratification, all characteristics needed to succeed life. I am sure that my martial artist lifestyle has annoyed her on more than one occasion, such as the time we decided to go on a 3 day cruise together and I met a fellow martial artist all by happenstance in the line to board the cruise ship, Mr. Dave Epperson. Dave is a Kenpo practitioner and who from time to time would come into Stockton CA, from the bay area to train with our DeCuerdas clan; we started chatting about plans to train while on the boat, needless to say our significant others were not so pleased with conversation, their raised eyebrows was a dead giveaway that our plans for this trip differed from theirs; needless to say we both had to fight of the urge to meet up on the upper deck gymnasium to train. Luckily I have realized I am not alone when it comes to having a martial art addiction, a matter of fact I know have a large number of friends who share in this similarity, and through these similar traits we have developed a brotherhood in some respect. I have invited these folks into our home for BBQ’s and get together’s and my wife always jumps in to be a graceful hostess to our guest.

I give this women credit, it’s probably bad enough having just one of me around but to have a household of folks talking martial arts in our home, she has to be at her wits end. Anyhow my point is to if you are like me and have had a women by your side throughout your martial progression be sure to take some time to thank her for her support. We are a strange type of people, martial artists; we have certain traits that would have the typical women running for the hills. Sure I enjoy walks on the beach, but when I am walking and embracing my gal I am also keeping my eyes open for shark teeth to adhere to piece of drift wood so that I can make striking instrument, similar to those used by Hawaiian luau warriors of days passed. So honey, thanks for all the support. Train Strong to Remain Strong!

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Comment by Walter Fajardo on May 13, 2014 at 10:10pm
Great blog. I give much kudos to your wife, spouses to our fellow martial artists, and my beautiful wife, who not only understands certain times I go practice and train every week, but she also makes sure our one and only child trains and practices in martial arts at 8 years old. I think we all should feel blessed to have that special spouse like we do. Great blog and kudos for writing it!!
Comment by Guro David Hines on May 14, 2014 at 1:49am

Great subject.  I thank my wife every day for her support.  We have been married for 36 years now and my wife has never known me to be other than what you just described.

Comment by terry joven on May 14, 2014 at 9:09am

Your a lucky man Michael! Lisa is a very beautiful woman inside and out and not to bad of an escrimador either, I can remember she was pretty good back in the day!

Comment by Michael Cardenas on May 14, 2014 at 2:50pm

Indeed Mr. Fajardo, I have also started training our kids, ages 5, 7, & 7. With the youngest being our boy. Of course she was a little concerned about teaching them blade work, I told her there would be plenty of stuff to learn prior to getting to blades. Sounds like you are a lucky as well. Hello Gur David, congrats on going 36 years strong, well done Sir; so there is hope for me. Hello Guro Terry, yes she and I started our FMA training somewhat together she had a falling out from it the day I accidentally punched her in the nose when sparring, she dropped and turned and to soft hook to the body. However she still knows enough to put up a fight if need be. Best regards my brothers.

Comment by terry joven on May 14, 2014 at 2:53pm

I found an old vcr  tape of a demo we did,  has you & your wife in it. I will see if I can find it again!

Comment by Michael Cardenas on May 14, 2014 at 3:22pm

Dang, not sure i want to see it, I had two left feet back then and was just starting out. Actually if you do have it, it would be cool to check it out. Thanks Guro Terry


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